


You Chose Them

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [70]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Gen, Loneliness, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 21:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20216626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Dean runs into Y/n after he disappeared almost five years ago. Mary and Sam decide to find out why he left his dad.





	You Chose Them

“Y/n?”

The teenager turned around to see the man he once saw as his father stood there, his brother behind him, both shocked that they’d finally found y/n.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Y/n rolled his eyes, not wanting to listen to Dean’s bullshit.

He began walking past them, figuring Dean and Sam would probably be able to take care of the bodies themselves.

“I don’t think so”.

Dean grabbed y/n’s arm before he could pass them, pulling him back.

“W-where have you been?” he asked, his voice filled with sadness and a little anger.

“None of your business, Dean”, he spat, brushing past them both and the woman who stood there, watching the scene in front of her, not understanding what was happening.

Once y/n had left the building, Mary stepped forward, looking at her eldest son, pain being the only thing she could see.

“Dean. Who was that?”

Dean couldn’t say a single word, the hatred in y/n’s voice when he said his name, called him Dean, for the first time since they’d met, was all he could hear.

“Dean”, Sam shook his brother, trying to get him to snap out of it, but Dean just couldn’t get it out of his mind.

What had he done to mess it up so bad, to make the one person he thought he’d always have by his side, hate him so much?

“Come on”.

Sam led his brother out of the warehouse, leaving him in the impala, while he sorted the bodies out, Mary going along with him.

“So, who was that?” she asked, dragging a body to the centre of the room, making a pile there.

“That was y/n. Dean’s son”.

Mary stopped everything she was doing and stared up at Sam, her heart racing, her eyes wide as she held her breath, the shock making her forget what she was supposed to do.

“Mom! Breathe”.

She came to her senses, letting out a large breath, before looking back up at Sam.

“D-Dean’s got a son?”

“Adopted. Sort of, but yea”.

Sam explained the situation as fast as he could.

_They found y/n shortly after John died and took him in when he was only eight. _

_His mom had died on a case and they realized they weren’t able to give him up after how attached he had gotten to his ‘Deanie’._

_He explained how Dean had basically become y/n’s dad, taking care of him, Sam taking on the role of his uncle._

_It didn’t take long for y/n to begin calling Dean ‘Dad’, looking up to him, wishing he could be like the man._

_But then Dean went to hell and y/n was left with Bobby._

_When Dean came back, y/n didn’t fully understand what happened and ignored Dean for a few weeks, thinking he had been abandoned._

_Of course, he couldn’t just ignore his dad, Dean being the only father figure he’d ever had and forgave him quickly._

_The next two years were a mess, Ruby and the plan to release Lucifer, Sam abandoning them both, angels arriving._

_Y/n grew up fast in those two years, Dean having to train him to be a hunter, despite hating that he was stealing away the childhood of the sweetest child he’d ever met. _

_But it was something that had to be done, knowing that if something happened to him, at least y/n could defend himself._

“Then I fell into the cage and Dean and y/n went to live with a woman called Lisa and her kid Ben. I didn’t know them well, but something must have happened, cos y/n wasn’t the same after that. And then almost a year after that, he just disappeared. No note, no messages, nothing. He left his phone and I guess found a ride, or stole a car. Cas couldn’t find him, cos we carved his ribs. Even Crowley couldn’t track him down.”

Mary nodded, her brain trying to take in everything she had just been told.

Dean had a child. Well, one he adopted, but he was still Dean’s. 

So to Mary, y/n was her grandson. 

The one who apparently just left, abandoned his dad and disappeared, broke him from how he was sat in the car when they got out of the building, just staring out of the window.

She wanted to know more, but she knew better than asking Dean anything right now. 

She might not have known these versions of her children for very long, but she just knew.

They drove back to the motel, Mary pulling Dean out, still in a trance of sorts, when she saw him again.

Y/n entered his room, not feeling the pair of eyes that were burning holes into his back.

“Take Dean in. I’m just gonna go get some food”, she said, a fake smile on her face, trying her best not to let anything on.

Sam nodded, taking Dean and entering the room, Mary making sure the door was shut, then storming over to the door, knocking on it and waiting.

Y/n dropped his bag, anger coursing through his veins after he saw that man, the one he loved, the one he respected, the one he now hated.

He sat on the bed, untying his shoes and pulling them off, laying on the bed and stretching, as he tried his best to get thoughts of Dean’s face out of his mind.

His thoughts were interrupted by an incessant knocking, grumbling as he got off his bed, about to let rip on the idiot who decided to piss him off today.

He swung the door open and stared at the woman in front of him, who was glaring back just as hard.

“What?”

She didn’t say anything, walking past him and into his room.

“Whoa! Hey, lady! I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you don’t just disturb someone and barge into their room”.

She didn’t say anything, looking around at the few belongings he had and facing him.

“Why did you leave?”

Y/n’s eyebrows furrowed, confused as to what the hell she was going on about.

“What the fuck? Out of my room, lady! I don’t know you. Get the fuck out!”

She ignored his shouting and asked again.

“Why did you leave him?”

Y/n groaned, knowing she was the dumb type who wouldn’t leave without her answers, even if he had no idea what she wanted to hear.

He decided to humour her, thinking she was most likely some crazy lady, who would leave once she realized y/n wasn’t who she thought he was.

“Who? Who did I leave, miss?” he asked, talking to her like a child.

She rolled her eyes, finding him to be a cocky little shit.

“Dean”.

Y/n straightened up at the mention of his name, clenching his jaw, his gaze darkening.

“Who the hell are you?”

“His mother”.

Y/n scrunched his eyes, taking his time to really look at the woman in front of him.

How the hell hadn’t he seen it?

Dean always used to show him pictures of the woman. 

He didn’t have many, but Dean always used to go on about her, his eyes showing a longing each time.

“You’re dead”.

“Not anymore. Now, you gonna answer my question?”

Y/n scoffed, moving past her and grabbing a drink from the fridge.

“Nope. I don’t know you. I don’t need to tell you shit”.

“Then tell me”.

They both looked to the door, which was still wide opened, and saw Sam looking at them both.

“Y/n, why did you just leave? Do you know how hard we looked for you? We thought you were missing, taken by someone. Hell, you let us think the worst for months, before you finally decided to let us know you were alive.”

Y/n did feel slightly bad for that, but purely because he knew he made Sam suffer. As far as Dean was concerned, y/n couldn’t give less of a shit.

“Well?”

Y/n sighed, knowing now that Sam was here, he’d have to tell them everything.

“I left because Dean didn’t give a shit”.

Sam sat on the bed, Mary on the couch and y/n on the chair, playing with his fingers.

“What do you mean? He gave a shit. He gave a hell of a shit. You were 13, y/n! 13 when you left us. How do you think he felt? Did you just think he forgot about the kid he raised for five years, just erased you from his mind and went on with his life happy?”

Y/n shrugged, assuming so.

“Well, he didn’t. The first few months, he was basically an alcoholic.”

“He always was”, y/n muttered, Sam and Mary glaring at him.

“You know what it was like, y/n. That’s not fair. He did his best.”

Y/n rolled his eyes, hating to have to talk about him.

“So…why did you leave?”

“I left cos there was no reason for me to stay”, he stated, shrugging his shoulders.

Sam just didn’t understand what he meant.

Y/n always had Dean. No matter what, Dean always came back to him.

Sure, Sam himself was a dick while he was soulless, but he thought he fixed it up with y/n.

Then there was Cas. Y/n was so taken by Cas, loving the way he was so clueless yet wise, brave and loyal.

Y/n often tagged along with Cas, trying on his trench coat and wearing it everywhere.

Sure, he wasn’t a toddler or anything. But Dean still found it adorable, watching his son have some sort of normality and just having fun. 

So Sam just couldn’t see what the hell y/n was talking about.

“Explain”.

Y/n took a deep breath, calming himself and trying not to let the emotions control him.

“You know when you went to hell?”

Sam nodded, hating having to think of that time.

“Well, Dean took me to go live with that woman and her kid”.

Sam was slightly confused as to why y/n referred to them as that, but decided he wouldn’t say anything and just listen to the story.

“I hated it there, Sammy. I hated it so much. Their house was huge, but she gave me this tiny room. I wasn’t allowed to buy a single thing, cos all the money was being spent on Ben. Each time I brought it up with Dean, he’d just joke around, telling me he’d let me buy something next time, but next time never came”.

Sam and Mary listened intently, y/n’s eyes beginning to water.

“She was awful. Lisa. I hated her. She tried to be nice, but I think she hated that there was another kid apart from Ben. She barely spoke to me and when she did, she just sounded pissed all the time.”

Sam felt so bad for y/n. 

He was the greatest kid ever and he just couldn’t understand how someone couldn’t love him.

“What did Dean do about it?” Mary asked, assuming her son would’ve sorted it out.

“Nothing. I told him, but he said I was just being stupid. Said she was the sweetest woman and that I was just lying, that I should be grateful to her for taking us in.”

Y/n sniffed, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat, the lump that formed stopping him speaking clearly.

“So that’s why you left? Cos he put her first?”

Y/n shook his head, frustrated that they didn’t get the point.

“It’s not that he put her first. It’s that he chose them over me”.

“How?”

“This one time, it was my first ever violin concert. And I-I invited him to come. And he promised he would. But, he never did. Not him. Not Lisa. Not Ben. No one. And, he didn’t even remember to come pick me up either, one of my friends parents dropped me off at home. When I went in the house, they were all sat on the couch, just watching some show. They forgot all about me.”

Mary’s heart clenched for the boy. She didn’t know him, but the pain in his voice pierced her heart.

“And then-then there was this other time. It was some game Ben was playing and I didn’t want to go. I told him-Dean-I was feeling sick. But he dragged me there, yelling at me that I wasn’t being supportive. And halfway through, I just vomited. It just came out, but I knew he was mad. She told him to leave, come back later when the game was finished. When we were driving home, he just shouted at me, telling me I was messing everything up, that I was making him miss an important game”.

The tears rolling down y/n’s face made Mary’s own eyes water, not able to comprehend how Dean could ever do something like this.

“Maybe-maybe he just didn’t understand. Or-or was stressed?” Sam argued, not believing anything he was saying himself.

Y/n chuckled bitterly, wiping his face and controlling his emotions.

“Didn’t seem so stressed when they came back and they all had ice cream and none for me. You know, this one time, Bobby wanted to see me. So Dean drove me up there. He forgot to pick me up and I stayed there for two weeks cos he drove over to New York with the two of them. So there’s your answer. I left, cos Dean didn’t give a shit. He didn’t give a single shit about me. He probably hated that he took me in in the first place”.

“That’s not true and you fucking know it”.

They all jumped when they heard the gruff shout, looking at the still opened door, Dean striding in.

“I fucking took care of you for years and you just left me. Don’t you dare say I didn’t care, cos I loved you. More than anything”, he growled, towering right above y/n.

“Fuck off, Dean”.

Y/n stood up, walking past Dean and grabbing his bag, not wanting to hear anything his former dad had to say to him.

“No! You don’t get to leave me again. Not like this!”

“What did you expect, Dean?” he asked, his voice much calmer than Dean’s.

“You thought you find me and I come back? Play happy families? Not how it works”.

He threw the few items into the duffel, going into the bathroom to collect his things.

“I want to fix this. I love you, y/n. I know I didn’t say it much, but, you’re my kid. I never stopped looking for you. And I’m not losing you again”, Dean replied in a hushed whisper, trying not to break, his heart feeling as though it was being crushed each time an item was put into the bag.

“Can’t lose what you never had, Dean. You know, it hurt, each time you put them first. I used to go to bed, wondering what the hell I did to make you hate me. I mean, I was there first. I was the one you raised, I was the one you supposedly loved. So I never understood why that bitch and her bastard child came first to you. I was so happy when we left them, honestly. I mean, I hated watching you. It was pathetic. I mean, did you even really love her? Honestly?”

He looked to Dean, expecting an answer, but Dean just stared at him, his green eyes shining, but only because of the tears that had formed, the ones he was desperately trying to stop from leaking out.

“No answer. Typical Dean Winchester. Just close up every time someone wants you to show something, anything. I doubt you did though. She was some bitch you fucked a few times. Not sure how that builds into a relationship, but you were desperate and she needed someone for that little shit, Ben, seeing as all the dudes she opened her legs for probably weren’t father material, you know?”

Sam was shocked to hear all of this coming from y/n, the boy he remembered to be sweet and kind, always seeing the best in everyone. 

How the hell had this happened? What had happened in the past five years that he was like this now?

“Anyway, I don’t really need to tell you she was a slut. I mean, talk about desperate, taking in a dude and some kid, cos you fucked a few times. Pathetic”.

He continued packing his bags, passing Mary and grabbing the phone charger, throwing it into the bag as well.

“You wanna know the worst thing though?”

He looked at Dean, who wasn’t moving at all, then to Sam, who nodded.

“The worst thing was when we left them. You barely spoke to me, didn’t even look at me for a second. You didn’t eat around me, you’d leave the room each time I walked in and you’d just snap at me for everything. I think that was the moment, I realized, you didn’t want me. You wanted them. The whore and her bastard child. They gave you that perfect life I guess. I gave you memories of this life, the one you never wanted. So I left. Didn’t see why I’d stick around with you, hotwired a car and drove off”.

He picked up his bag and held it over his shoulder, staring right into Dean’s eyes as he decided he’d let it all out.

“Honestly, it was the best decision I’d ever made. No more whining. No more moping around, obsessed with your brother like a damn five year old. No more of your pathetic messes you always started, all because you have some weird ass dependency. I was free. I might have had to learn a bit of stuff to survive, but it was better than being with a man who didn’t even want me”.

Y/n walked towards the door, winking at Sam and waving at Mary, honestly wanting Sam to be happy, thinking Mary seemed like an OK woman.

He turned the doorknob and opened the door, stepping over the threshold, when Dean’s voice stopped him again.

“I love you. I know I wasn’t the best father. I know I messed up with them. But please, let me fix this”.

Y/n looked back, seeing the desperation, pure sorrow and regret in Dean’s eyes. 

But he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to cave in.

“You can’t fix it, Dean. I’ve always hated people like you. The ones who use you when they need you, drop you when they find something better, then come grovelling back. It’s pathetic. Why don’t you just go back to Lisa and Ben? Oh yea, I forgot, they’re fucking useless. Only thing she’s good for is her pussy. Only thing he’s good for is being the biggest piece of shit in the world. Guess it’s a perfect match, cos you’re the worst dad in the world. You made out like John was shit, but I’m pretty sure he always put you first. So, just think about that, Dean”.

He took a step forward, before looking back once more, deciding he’d make it clear to them.

“Oh, and don’t look for me. Don’t try to find me. If you see me again, don’t even talk to me. I don’t want anything to do with you, Dean Winchester!”

With that, y/n walked out of the room, leaving the man that was once his father to stare at his retreating form, hating himself for losing sight of the love he had for his child. 

Hating himself for not realizing just how much he needed y/n. 

Hating himself for choosing them over y/n. 


End file.
